13 Tips to Gain Self Esteem and Body Confidence
I definitely had my fair share of body issues growing up (or even now sometimes). Nothing extreme. I feel like everyone has body issues to some extent.
I’m 5’2” and curvy. My height and full-
When I was younger, I definitely compared myself more. It’s easy to do that in middle school and high school when everything is superficial. It’s not real life so if that’s where you are at right now, puberty is awkward for everyone.
I have struggled with my weight at many points in my life, but I remember being particularly overweight in middle school. I was depressed and trying to hide
I wasn’t the biggest girl but I was definitely picked on because of it.
As I grew older, I learned to appreciate myself more.
A big turning point for me was educating myself on bra fitting and finding my right size. It really was life-changing. With the help of a supportive sports bra, I was back to being more active and feeling like my healthiest self.
I learned to accept my body because I am strong and my curves are beautiful. I absolutely love my boobs more now that I have the support I need.
I work on improving myself daily. This doesn’t only include physically, but also mentally, and spiritually as well.
It’s important to keep growing as a person.
Here are some of my tips to improve self-esteem and to become more body confident.
1. Change Your Thinking with Affirmations
I’m a big believer in affirmations.
In fact, my boyfriend, Michael, and I say positive affirmations every night before we go to bed. We talk about how much we kicked today’s ass and how much we are going to own tomorrow.
We also say all the things we are grateful for and how much we appreciate each other.
It’s a nice bedtime routine especially because our lives are so busy. You can also do this by yourself.
You can keep a journal on your nightstand and write down all your accomplishments for that day.
Keeping a written log is a great reminder of all the greatness you emit. You can refer back to it when you aren’t feeling so confident.
Positive affirmations are also a great way to start the day!
Take a good, hard look at yourself in the mirror. Ignore all the things you don’t like about yourself. You are too hard on yourself. We tend to be our own worst critics when nobody else really cares.
Other people might even think that those things that you are insecure about are an attractive quality because it’s unique. For instance, I think freckles are so beautiful yet I know tons of women that cover them up with makeup.
Change your inner dialogue to be positive.
For funsies, here is a quiz to determine the mental blocks that are holding you back and how to fix them.
What gives you the most happiness? Your eyes, your butt, your boobs, pick whatever feature you like.
Now talk about it out loud.
Saying nice things out loud is a good way to get your subconscious to believe them if you aren’t there yet.
Don’t limit the dialogue to be just about the physical. Talk about your achievements and what a wonderful, delightful person you are.
What are some things that you are good at? Toot your own horn to give yourself that extra boost for the day.
Repeat after me, “I am going to own today!”
Believe it and you can accomplish anything!
Check out this course on changing your mindset to manifest your goals. Inspiring way to set you on the right path when you feel lost.
2. Dress the Part
Wear an outfit that gives you confidence. If you feel like you have nothing to wear update your wardrobe. This doesn’t mean you have to spend a lot of money. I love going thrifting as a cost-effective way to shop.
Figure out how to dress for your body type. Not every style outfit is going to flatter everyone’s shape.
You want to highlight your greatest assets while concealing parts of your body that you find less appealing. Check out my article on How To Dress for Fall with Big Boobs. (many of the same principles can be applied throughout the year)
Maybe you have that dress that makes you feel great. WEAR IT!!!
Don’t hide under baggy clothes. They will make you appear bigger than you are.
Also, don’t wear clothes that are too small. This technique is not flattering either.
Wear clothes that are your size and fit well. Accentuating the smallest part of your waist is always a good tip. It can’t just fit well on one part of your body and not the rest. Show off your silhouette because you have a figure, despite what you may believe.
Don’t forget to incorporate your own personal style. Wearing something that doesn’t feel like you won’t boost your confidence because you won’t feel authentic. You’ll feel like you are pretending to be someone else. Give yourself your own identity and don’t be afraid to experiment.
Confidence can radiate from under clothing as well. Your bras and panties are great mood boosters.
Even if nobody else sees them there’s something about it that makes you feel sexy.
Wearing a properly fitted bra can make you look like you lost weight by lifting your breasts and giving you better posture.
Literally, the easiest way to instantly look slimmer.
You should feel comfortable if the bra fits correctly.
With an ill-fitting bra, you will slouch more because your breasts aren’t being supported. In addition, you will appear to have extra back fat because that is what the loose bra band is gripping onto.
You can reference my 5 Signs You Are Wearing the Wrong Bra Size to get a better sense for your size.
Trust me you can feel the difference.
A big part of making your clothes fit better is fixing how your bra makes you look. You need to start with the basics first and foremost. You can’t build a house if you don’t have the proper foundation.
I have a downloadable checklist in the sidebar for finding your perfect bra.
3. Be Your Best Self and Put Your Best Foot Forward
When you look good, you feel good. For you, this could mean putting on makeup or wearing your hair in a particular way. Find tutorials on different ways to play up your features.
If you want your green eyes to pop you can use a complementary color makeup palette.
Take care of yourself.
Sometimes we get caught up in life. We do things for everyone else and forget about ourselves.
Treat yourself and do something that makes you feel good. For instance, get your hair done or go to a spa.
Get a massage and be pampered. You work hard so you can enjoy it. Splurge a little.
If you are strapped for cash and rather do-it-yourself, YOU CAN!
Take some time to be alone. If you have kids, have someone else watch them for a while.
Revel in the peace and quiet.
Draw yourself a bath. Make a production out of it. Light candles and buy a bath bomb or Epsom salt. Get cozy with a good book or just relax with some music.
I find painting my own nails to be meditative. Plus, I can change them regularly. Nothing makes me feel more put together than chip-free, freshly painted nails.
How can you feel anything but revitalized afterward?
4. Develop a Routine of Physical Activity
I’m not telling you that you have to lose weight. I want it to be clear that I’m not body shaming anyone. However, I do like to promote a healthy lifestyle because I think it’s important. How you treat your body is a big part of gaining confidence. If you love your body, your body will love you back.
You also don’t have to be the fittest person in the world. Simply removing yourself from technology and getting out of your house for a bit to go for a walk will make you feel loads better.
At least, remove yourself from your work desk and stretch every once in a while.
Develop a fitness habit that you love. It only takes baby steps. The endorphins will make you feel happy.
I know personally that when I’m cooped up for too long I go a little stir crazy.
Set a mini habit for yourself.
Maybe you start with one pushup a day. If you aren’t good at pushups you can start on your knees. There’s nothing wrong with making modifications.
You will still be one step closer than someone who doesn’t try at all.
After a certain amount of time maybe you start doing two pushups for a period of time and so on until you add on other exercises. Before you know it you’ll have a full workout routine.
I learned the importance of developing mini habits from this book. There’s also a second one more catered to weight loss.
Mini milestones are encouraging and more sustainable in the long run.
Exercising is a great way to kickstart your morning. It sets an upbeat precedent for the rest of the day.
You’ll feel more energized and awakened. I feel like you will think more clearly too.
This is the time when I’m most productive. It’s easier to focus on things that need to be done.
I love to wake up extra early to workout. I know that if I don’t do it before my day begins it won’t happen.
After working out, I’ll take a hot shower and dwell in it for a bit.
Afterward is the best time for meditation. Most of the time I can’t unwind. But if I just worked out then took a relaxing shower, it’s so much easier.
You can download FREE meditation audio tracks here.
Meditation is then followed up with a smoothie or nutritious breakfast.
I also prefer not to workout at night because I like reserving my nights
The last thing I want to do after working all day is to
5. Eat Healthy, Nutritious Foods
I believe in the mind, body, and spirit connection.
If you are putting garbage into your body then you will feel like garbage.
I’m not saying to go on a diet (I don’t believe in diets) or to feel guilty about the things you eat, but there is a balance.
Your body needs fuel to run. I know that when I used to eat crappy, I would always feel lethargic. Try adjusting your diet slightly to include more healthy, nutritious whole foods and tell me you don’t feel the difference.
You’ll have more energy than you know what to do with.
Don’t make it torture eating food. Choose things that you will enjoy eating.
Just like creating an exercise regime you will want something sustainable for the long term.
I don’t know about you but I hate typical salads and I’m VEGAN!
I’m not saying you have to go vegan but definitely try experimenting with vegan options. You will be pleasantly surprised.
I would always make vegan meals even before I wasn’t fully vegan.
Why?
Because it was easy on my tummy.
The first meal I ever made were these vegan quesadillas. I felt great afterward and had so much energy. I wasn’t bloated and didn’t feel gross, the way I normally felt from eating cheese.
I’m also Italian so I like my food to be flavorful.
Seriously though, we don’t realize how much we poison our bodies until we give it up. Our bodies usually tell us too but we don’t listen…until we go to the doctor and they tell us we NEED to make adjustments.
I also make everything sugarfree. I use agave as a sweetener instead.
I never noticed how artificially sweet things were until I gave up sugar. I had a sample of a smoothie at the mall the other day and it straight up tasted like chemicals.
Plain, whole foods will also taste more amazing. It’s incredible.
6. Try Something New
Make the most of life. Life is meant to be enjoyed.
You can’t worry about what happened yesterday or what will happen tomorrow. Just live in the moment.
What is something that you’ve always wanted to do? What held you back?
You need to face those fears head on and break through those barriers.
In every one of these tips, you can try something new. Maybe you’ve always wanted to experiment with a new style or dye your hair a fun color.
Maybe you’ve always wanted to try exotic food.
You can take up boxing.
Learn a language or how to play an instrument.
Make a bucket list and start doing it.
Take advantage of the day. The world is your playground and you have to remember to have fun.
One of the most exhilarating things you can do is live life on your terms.
You can also be cheap about it. During the summer, Michael and I go out every weekend and just explore and road trip around the state or local areas.
It doesn’t have to be a big thing but
A more expensive activity that I highly recommend is indoor skydiving. We had no interest in actually skydiving, but it was Mike’s 30th birthday so I decided to make it uber special and of course I wasn’t going to be left out.
The experience was so incredible and definitely memorable, especially with the added virtual reality we had on our last “freefall.”
If you’ve always wanted to try skydiving but never wanted to actually skydive, try indoor skydiving!
7. Be Grateful and Appreciate Yourself
Appreciate and be grateful for what you have because it’s a gift that shouldn’t be taken for granted. You may not be where you want to be right now, but learn to accept where you are and enjoy the journey it takes to get there.
Our differences make us unique. Be proud of your originality. There is no other person like you and that should make you feel good.
We focus on all the things wrong with our bodies or ourselves that we forget all the amazing things we can do. Your body has done so much for you and you should be grateful.
When I was first starting yoga, I desperately wanted to do a headstand. I felt like it was something that looked difficult, but I knew I had enough strength to do it.
I practiced all the time. It didn’t take me long before I could do a headstand. Not very well at first, but as I practiced more I became better. I was able to hold it longer, practice more control, and experiment with different movements.
I was amazed that my body could do that. I had developed such control over my body.
I think it’s pretty amazing that even at my age (only 29 soon to be 30) that I can still do a cartwheel and a
Taking care of your body also has a lot to do with it.
Everyone gets older. One day your skin will get all wrinkled, maybe you lose your hair, and you will be too old to get out of bed.
Love yourself even as you age. Every piece of you tells a story.
Learn to appreciate what you have while you have it and don’t worry about the things that you don’t have because one day it might be too late.
8. Smile More
Forcing a smile automatically boosts your mood.
Be kind to yourself and others. Kindness is contagious. If you feel good then you can help others feel good about themselves. It’s about lifting people up not putting them down because then you are contributing to the problem.
Maybe start a conversation with the cashier at the grocery store. Ask them how their day is going.
People just want to be acknowledged and you could have just boosted that person’s day.
You can usually tell if someone is having a bad day. I used to have a manager that was the sweetest, most hardworking, underappreciated individual. I remember one day she was running around like a crazy person and I could tell she was stressed.
I stopped her in her tracks and said something like this, “Hey! You are a great manager and you are doing a fantastic job!”
Her whole body language changed and as her shoulders sank down and relaxed, she had a look of awe in her eyes.
I know that just by saying that I improved her day and I felt good knowing I could make that difference.
So next time you are somewhere and the customer service person gets something wrong, try to be a little more understanding and just smile and tell them how great they are doing. Jobs are hard and nobody likes to be yelled at for a mistake.
You have the power to make someone’s day a little less shitty.
9. Remove Toxic People From Your Life
I feel like everyone knows at least one person that when you talk to them it’s all about them and their misery.
It’s exhausting to talk to them. They drain all your energy. They may ask for your advice, but they really don’t so don’t give it because they won’t listen.
Your happiness brings them down so they try to take you down with them.
The best thing to do is to just cut the cord. You don’t need them in your life.
Be strong and just detach. I know it may sound harsh but these people are anchors and they will hold you back.
After a while, you have to step back and determine what you are getting from this friendship. Does this friendship make you happy? Or is it negative all the time?
Do you feel worse about yourself afterward?
10. Surround Yourself With Things That Spark Joy
I think Marie Kondo says it best in her book, The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing. Check it out.
Keep a clean, tidy environment. You will feel better with less clutter.
Your home should be a safe space to retreat to, not a nightmare that you want to avoid.
Personally, I know I certainly feel better when everything is neat and clean. It’s one less thing that I have to worry about.
I take pride in keeping a tidy home. Mike and I recently moved into our apartment and I worked so hard to decorate it. It was the first time both of us didn’t have roommates so we needed furniture and decor.
We like everything to have its place.
When your environment is a mess, you can feel like a mess.
Or vice versa, if you’re a mess your home will be a mess.
Your life will feel chaotic.
Some people eat their feelings and some people hoard.
The excessive amount of stuff is you projecting your emotions and trying to make yourself feel better. But it won’t work. You won’t feel better. You’ll feel more out of control.
Having material things won’t bring you joy. If they are sentimental things, that’s different because it reminds you of a person or a memory.
Read this book and transform your life!
11. Take Time to Help Others
Obviously, don’t let people take advantage of you, but try to give back and do something selfless.
People will appreciate what you are doing for them and you will feel better about yourself.
We recently had some snow here and as I was cleaning off my car, I noticed my neighbor’s car still had snow on it (it was right next to mine because we live in an apartment complex).
Mike and I have an older couple that lives in the unit below us. Even though we don’t always get along (long story short we have really awful floors and they can’t stand the noise), we are always nice and do our best to still be considerate neighbors.
I knew I had some extra time before work so I quickly brushed off the wife’s car.
Small acts of kindness can go a long way.
Think about all the people’s lives you’ve affected.
Even volunteering at an animal shelter will help boost your self-esteem. It’s hard to be down on yourself when animals don’t judge you and show unconditional love.
12. Ignore All Forms of Media
The media is full of lies. Those advertisements you see aren’t real. Images are photoshopped.
In addition, people have teams of makeup artists, hair and clothing stylists, and are usually in the perfect lighting conditions.
It’s staged.
Social media is the worst.
We waste too much time comparing ourselves to other people.
People put themselves in dangerous situations to try to achieve certain characteristics from social trends.
Remember thigh gaps? If you didn’t have a thigh gap then you were too fat. Like what? Seriously?
What about genetics? Maybe you don’t have the disposition to have a thigh gap.
It’s sad when beautiful people develop eating disorders or other unhealthy habits to achieve “perfection.”
Stop trying to be someone else because then you won’t be you.
There isn’t a one size fits all for beauty. Not everything is cookie cutter. People have their own preferences for attractiveness.
You just have to be you and don’t change yourself for anybody else or to meet anybody’s standards.
If you aren’t somebody’s “type,” move on. There’s plenty of fish in the sea.
The ideology for body standards has and will continue to change over time anyway.
Just take a look at ancient Rome/Greek statues, goddesses were portrayed as thicker, voluptuous women. Take a look at those fat rolls! Pronounced hips were thought to be ideal because they are a symbol of fertility.
Have you ever heard the term “birthing hips?” Well, that’s why.
That’s not to say that anyone’s body is right or wrong, but should be all-inclusive.
Not only is social media bad because we have unrealistic expectations, but there’s a lot of negativity coming from people that can just hide behind a computer and verbally attack others.
Ignore the trolls of the internet. Unfortunately, there are many.
13. Remember Nobody is Perfect
Everyone is beautiful in their own ways. Everyone has insecurities and things that they don’t like about themselves.
Embrace your imperfections because they are what makes you special.
The truth is everyone wants what they don’t have. People with curly hair want straight hair. People who are thin want to be curvy.
It’s important to be in the moment and stop dwelling on your imperfections. You can’t go back and time and worry about regrets. Instead, improve the things you have control over, but don’t change yourself to appease other people.
You can’t rely on other people to boost your ego. Your happiness has to start with you.
Do whatever makes you happy.
The only person you need permission from is yourself. Learn to love and accept yourself, flaws and all.
In the end, just be true to who you are. Don’t feel obligated to be how other people expect you to be. It’s your body and your life.
XOXO,
Stephanie
P.S. What do you do for a confidence boost?
Hi! I’m Stephanie.
Welcome to my blog about boobs, bras, and body image.
It’s my mission to help others appreciate their bodies while giving tips on dealing with bigger breasts.
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